


The song I’m singing

by NotDancingButKillerQueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A completely self-indulgent fic to make me feel important, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of anakin and Ahsoka, Not completely planned out, Obi-Wan Kenobi - Freeform, Reader Insert, Slow Burn, but I do have a rough idea, depends on how touch starved I am, for now it’s just angsty, mentions of depression, ngl kinda sad at some points, padawn reader, possibly have smut, so bare with me, will DEFINITELY be fluff later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotDancingButKillerQueen/pseuds/NotDancingButKillerQueen
Summary: Set just after order 66: reader was a Padawan during the clone war and lost her master. Shes been traveling on her own trying to figure out what to do now, when she stumbles across someone she use to admire.I just think obi wan needs something good. That man has been through so much and I love him!
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

It had been 2 years since the terrible day. 2 years since the world I knew crumbled around me. I remember it so well, as if the nightmares weren’t enough. I can see the smoke, I cans hear the crash of his ship, and if I focus hard enough I can feel everyone I’ve ever trusted become one with the force.  
I was so close to the end of my training, due to become a full fledged Jedi knight any day. I would become a general for the grand republic army and save countless lives. But it was never meant to be. I never became what I trained my whole life for.  
  
I pulled my robes tighter around my body as I trekked through the sand on this god forsaken planet. I didn’t even know the name; just another stop on my endless journey. A journey where even I don’t know the destination. Death, probably. There was really nothing left for me. My master was dead, my friends all gone, the only people I knew...just ripped away. What’s keeping me here? Wouldn’t it be better to just become one with the force? Maybe then I wouldn’t be so alone.  
  
Alone was something I have sadly become accustomed to. Just wandering around, picking up small jobs to get food. I didn’t dare stay in one place too long. I was scared that someone would find out about my Jedi past and sell me out to the empire.  
  
I climbed to the top of a small hill of huge, flat rocks. Looking in all directions I saw...sand. Just so much sand. I close my eyes and try to feel for any sign of a force user. Or even just any sign of life. Nothing. I collapse to my knees and stare at suns as they slowly set over the horizon.  
  
“Please...” I whispered, “someone find me.” Someone I knew. Someone I would be safe with.  
  
I stayed sitting at the edge of the rocks for what felt like hours. I tried to mediate, to calm myself before walking aimlessly through this desert of a planet. But I couldn’t quiet my fears. So giving up I lay on my back and watch the stars. They were never quite this bright on Coruscant. Still perfectly visible, just not as...dazzling.  
  
Why did I have to be the one who survives? Why couldn’t they just kill me too? Why did I listen and run?! What am I suppose to do? Just wander the galaxy and hope everyone forgets about the Jedi. Was there even Jedi left out there? I hope so.  
  
I lifted a few pebbles with force and spun them around, humming softly. My master use to always poke fun at me for singing so much. I couldn’t help it, I was just always coming up with little tunes and lyrics that sounded nice. He’d often times just make comments about the song I didn’t even know I was humming. But he never told me to stop.  
  
“Your songs keep you connected with the force.” He’d say. “I never feel the control of the force from you as much as when you sing. Your mind is calm.”  
  
“You just like to hear me sing, master.” I smirked.  
  
“I’m glad you have a way to ground yourself. A way to connect you without the formality of meditation.”  
  
“I guess that’s why that nickname stuck so well.” I laughed. “Just a constant stream of music going on up here!” I bring my hands to either side of my head.  
  
“The force has a way of swaying us that way. Even if we can’t feel it, Melody. Some Padawan excel at flying, others at combat. You, have a strong connection with the force.”

  


It was only two years but it somehow felt like a lifetime ago. I don’t actually know how I’ve survived this long. I’ve never really had any credits and I’ve been on my own since that day. I’ve been able to find just enough to eat and somewhat safe spaces to sleep and rest. Stored away on a few ships. Almost died a couple of times. Found some droid parts to tinker with while I waited for the next thing to happen.  
  
“Just dumb luck I guess...”  
  
“There’s no such thing as dumb luck when you believe in the force.” A voice said behind me. I jumped to feet and reached for my light saber. He was too far and it was too dark for me to see his face beneath his hood. “I didn’t think any Jedi survived.” My heart races. Its not safe to openly be a Jedi, did he see me using the force? Was going to try and kill me?  
  
“They didn’t,” I said, voice shaking, “I’m not a Jedi.”  
  
“The weapon you’re holding says different.” Welp, he knows. I have to get out of here. I look over my shoulder at the cliff behind me. It’s really not that far down I should be fine to jump. “I wouldn’t do that. It’s farther than it looks.” The only way out is to get through him I guess. But I don’t want to hurt him. Maybe I can just put up enough of a fight to scare him. I pull the weapon from my belt with shaky hands.  
  
Igniting my light saber I lunge at him. A green blade of light slicing through the dark of night. When it meets a blue saber. I freeze. The two sabers meeting in an ‘X’ and producing a slight hum.  
  
“What?” I whisper. “But...I thought...they were all...” I can’t finish the sentence.  
  
I look up to the mans face, now illuminated by the two weapons. I’d know that face anywhere. The master to one of my closest friends. The man who I always admired for his strength and belief in both the Jedi and the force. A man I thought dead. And now here he stands before me.  
  
“Hello there.” He said with a smirk.  
  
“Master Kenobi?” I say in disbelief. “How are you here?” I turn off the lightsaber and put it back on my belt.  
  
“I should ask you that, young one.” He smiled. Back then, I would’ve felt immediately better. Seeing his warm, genuine smile always comforted me. But now, it seemed to make everything worse somehow.  
  
I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body. His face seemed to blur into the night. And even though I knew I was breathing, rather quickly, it didn’t feel like I was actually getting any oxygen. And then suddenly everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day I’ll understand how to write a chapter summary. Today however is not that day, my dudes!  
> <3<3<3

I couldn’t breathe. Smoke was filling the cabin of my ship. I could barely make out the world outside the glass. The clones shot us down and it was no accident. 

Trying to get myself out of the ship was an adventure all it’s own. I must have hit my head in the crash, there was blood dripping down the side of my face. Stumbling around, I searched for any sign of my master’s ship. I saw him crash just before I did. I had to find him. He had to be okay. 

After a few minutes I saw his ship. It was burning. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. It didn’t seem fast enough. Any part of his ship that wasn’t under debris, was on fire. I force lifted as many rocks as I could off of it before I realized...I couldn’t feel him anymore.

With tears streaming down my face I tried to get the hatch open. He has to be okay. He has to be alive. I could feel my fingernails breaking from scratching at the ship. 

“Please don’t leave me!” I screamed. I couldn’t bring myself to stop trying to get to him. “Master please! Don’t leave me alone.” Our men, my friends had betrayed us. They shot us down. They tried to kill me. I pulled my saber from my waist ready to cut the ship into pieces to get my master out. 

And as if the force itself were telling me he was already gone. The entire ship exploded. The force of it sent me flying into a nearby wall and knocked the wind out of me. If I could scream I’m not sure it would be understandable. He was gone. For sure. I couldn’t even get his body out. 

...

I could barely hear my name, still lost in the flashback of a dream. Someone was calling to me, someone who knew the name I hadn’t gone by in years. I felt hands grab my shoulders and shake me. Someone was touching me?!

On instinct I shot a hand out and force pushed them away. I scrambled to my feet and put a hand to where my weapon should be. It was gone. I whip my head in the direction of the person I pushed away. 

“Oh,” I breathed, “master Kenobi. I’m sorry I was-“

“Having a nightmare. I could tell.” He finished, rolling his shoulder from the impact against the nearest wall. “Even after 2 years of no training, you are still so strong in the force. Master Plo would be proud.” He offered a small smile. That’s all it took to break me. 

For what fell like the 10th time this night, I fell to my knees in a sob. I can’t believe this is all real. The man who practically raised me, the friends I’d grown up with, the life I’d had as far back as I could remember...just gone. 

“Y/N,” master Kenobi started, he looked a mixture of sad and uncomfortable. “Have you been by yourself this whole time?” I nod. He sat in front of me and wrapped both arms around me. I instantly fell into him. My face pushed against his chest. Honestly, I’m this moment I really don’t care about how I look, this is the first time I’ve allowed myself to fully break down. 

“Everyone is gone.” I cried into him. 

“I know,” He rests his hand on the top of my head “but we’re here. We are alive. I know how close you and master Plo were.” At this I grabbed the front of his robes. “But he is never really gone from you, he’s part of the force now. The force that you are so strong with.”

His words didn’t help. I’d give up any connection I had with the force if it meant seeing him again. He was like a father to me. 

After what felt like an hour I pulled myself away from Obi-wan. I wiped my tear stained face with my sleeves and sighed.

“I’m sorry master. That was inappropriate.” I said softly. 

“You don’t have to call me master, it’s just Ben now.” I made a face at him. “I know, not as grand a name as Obi-wan, but i can’t use that name.” He chuckled. 

“I understand, I haven’t heard anyone say my real name in years.” I shudder. The last person to use my real name had been Anakin just before master Plo and I left for Cato Neimoidia. 

“What about Anakin? Did he...did he make it?” His body stiffened. “He’s gone too.” I whisper. If master Plo and I were close. Master Kenobi and Anakin were inseparable. I know Anakin had been his Padawan but the two of them always seemed like brothers to me. There was rarely one without the other. Obi-wan had practically raised him. I can only imagine what he went through. “I’m sorry for your loss mast-Ben?” 

“If Ben is too weird for you Obi-wan is okay when it’s just us.” I smiled at him. Adjusting on the ground, I sat cross legged and looked around. Is this where he lives now? This cave? Hut?

“Where are we?” I ask. 

“Tatooine.” He raised an eyebrow at my question. “If you don’t know where we are, how did you get all the way out here?”

“I stowed away on a ship that landed here to refuel. I never really know where I am, I just leave when I feel like the Empire’s presence is getting too strong on the planet. Have you been here since...” that day. I never know what to call it. 

“Yes.” Obi-wan said. “I arrived shortly after order 66 and have been here since.” He sighed. 

“Order 66?” 

“I suppose you don’t know what that is. It was the order that emperor Palpatine gave to the clones that made them turn on the jedi. During their creation every clone had a chip planted in their head so they would view the Jedi as traitors when he commanded.” His face was blank but I could feel the sadness coming off of him. “When it happened, Cody shot me off a cliff.” Cody. He was no Wolffe, but he was a good soldier; a good man. And even he turned on Obi-wan.

“Master Plo and I were flying over Cato Neimoidia when Wolfe and the others shot us down. He didn’t survive the crash.”

We sat in the most uncomfortable silence. I have so many questions for him, but I feel like all they will do is make me cry again. I think I’ve done enough of that for today. I wanted to know what happened to anakin. Was Obi-wan with him when it happened?

“Obi-wan, why are you on Tatooine?” He stayed looking at fire before us. The soft orange glow illuminated his face. It looks like these last two years must have been hard on him. 

“Familiarity, I suppose. I spent some time here when I was a Padawan with master Qui-gon. This is where we found Anakin.” He looks down at his hands. 

“I remember when he was new to the temple.” I smiled faintly. I was a few years older than he was, set to start my Padawan training soon. “He was such a sweet boy. And then you taught him your own special brand of sass.” I laugh lightly. And to my surprise, so did he. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. His...sass, as you put it, was all his own.”

“All things considered, how are you, master?” He flashed his kind smile again. It made my heart break. After all he’s been through, he’s still able to hold it together for the sake of another. 

“It’s been fine. If I’m being honest,” he looked seriously at me, “it’s been incredibly boring. I spend most of my time just avoiding the suns. Of course I have to go into the town every now and again.” I nod. Same experience as me then. “It’s been so quiet too, you know, with no one singing all the time.” I roll my eyes. 

“Obi-wan Kenobi, are you making fun of me?” He laughs again. 

“How have you been?” 

“I’m surviving, I suppose.” I sigh. “It’ll be a little bit better now that I know I have an ally here on Tatooine. I won’t feel quite as alone.” I put on my best forced smile. 

“Are you planning on going somewhere else?” Obi-wan asked. 

“I never really stay in one place for too long. The empire usually shows up after a while and I leave.” I shrug. 

“You could stay here if you like...with me. There’s nothing here for the empire here. And you seem like you could use the company.” 

“You...you want me to stay?” I stared wide eyed at him. “But isn’t it safer to stay alone? In case they find us?”

“Im saying, if you want, you can stay here. It may be safer to keep out numbers small or singular,” he stared back at me. “but if the empire does come, wouldn’t it be better to have someone that’s fighting with you?”

“I suppose so.” Maybe staying here for a bit would be good for me. 

I stood and walked to the opening of this...house? I look out at the double sunrise. How could all of this happen. Not that long ago we were fighting a war for the republic. Now we are on the run from the same institution now called the Empire. 

“The sunrise is beautiful here.” I say. “Too bad it so hot.”

“You’ll get use to it.” Obi-wan said walking up to join me. He leaned against the wall of the same entrance. “You know you don’t have to wear that anymore.” He said pointing at my hair. 

Even all this time later I still wore the Padawan braid. Normally I kept it pinned up in the rest of my hair, but I guess in my sudden collapse it fell out. 

“I guess I don’t.” I say. I reached up to it. “I know the Jedi are no more, but I feel like it’s the last thing connecting me to that life. To my master.” He just nodded. “I know we are not...weren’t allowed to form attachments, but I have found that these days those attachments bring me comfort.”

“It’s okay you know. I felt them too, the familial attachments.” He must mean Anakin.

“You? The great Master Kenobi, broke the code?” I laughed. He put a hand on my shoulder. 

“The Jedi aren’t gone, the order yes, But we are still here and I suspect there may be a few others somewhere out there. And I’d say keeping yourself alive these past few years has, at the very least, earned you the rank of a Jedi Knight.” He smiled. 

“No. Not yet.” I sighed. “I still feel like there is something I need to learn first, something I’m missing.” 

He didn’t say anything. We just stayed looking out at the twin suns now just above the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> Even if nobody reads it I’m gonna write it. I want a world in which Obi wan gets rewarded for all the good he’s done.


End file.
